MOST DECEITFUL

The way I was brought up was really different from every other child in my age group. My parents have evolved means of shielding me from peer pressure. I am very sure there are many people like me too. You will understand what it means to be confined within the compound.
 For kids that were raised like this, they cherish the short times they have to interact. Maybe during school hours or when they are sent on an errand. I belong to a clique unknown to my parents in school. This clique is my second family. In my clique, everyone claims to come from a rich home. Is either one person is talking about their latest car and the other one talking about their magnificent building. So as not to feel odd I too will come up with hosts of creative tales to let them know that we are rich. One of my friends Banjo had always boasted of their magnificent house, their beautiful dogs and their wide swimming pool. His description of their building always left us bewildered. Most of us fantasized and marvel at the tales he has told us about their house. So on a particular day after lesson hours we decided that we will follow Banjo to their earthly paradise. We want to go and behold the edifice. Our decision to follow him took him by surprise. He tried to discourage us because of their dogs. According to him, their dogs does not entertain any stranger. We all insisted so he was helpless. The long walk to their paradise was tiring but we endured in the spirit of adventure. Banjo was quiet all through the walk. He was sweating vigorously like someone about to be used for sacrifice. WE made a turn and we entered a residential street. All of a sudden we saw a young girl running towards our direction. It’s really obvious that the young kid just finished taking garri. Judged by the patterns the garri drew on her mouth. She was bare footed and her pant is extremely dirty. She must have just finished playing in the sand. To our greatest surprise. The girl jumped and threw herself over Banjo. Lo and Behold the girl is banjo’s blood sister. As if that was not enough another young lad presented himself clutching a a plate of beans to his chest. He also had garri patterns on his head. That was Banjo’s brother Junior. His two siblings must have splashed garri on each other while playing. We all tried to avoid junior because his hand is heavily stained with palm oil they used in cooking the beans. At least we appreciate the kids for heralding our arrival. They led us straight to their house.

 Who knows Banjo could have led us elsewhere. The first thing we saw as we entered their house was the swimming pool he talked about. It was a unique one. A very thick gutter that could accommodate battalions of mosquitoes. The stench from the gutter almost got us unconscious. We had to take turns jumping over this special swimming pool before we could enter. The confusion on our faces was becoming apparent. Could this be the paradise? The building was a face me I face you and they were not the only occupants. They share the building with five other occupants. Right at the corridor a woman was breastfeeding a set of twins. Each of the baby grabbing the milk tap. Another was cooking soup. The smell of the soup was nauseating. We couldn’t even distinguish whether it is a soup or herbal concoction. Finally we entered their living room and we met Banjo’s mum doing justice to the Ewedu they will take for dinner. We all prostrated for the woman. She responded and was quite surprise at the reason behind our visit. We all sat down. The way we sunk on that seat was frightening. It was as if we were going underground. The chairs have seen better days. The springs were pricking our buttocks right from within. And we were trying our best not to reveal our discomfort in the presence of Banjo’s mum. Suddenly Ade the shortest member of our cliques jumped up and screamed. A rats has made its way into his trouser. There was mild confusion for some seconds. Ade had to pull off his trouser before the rats could escape. Banjo’s mum apologized and asserted in a sarcastic way that the rats are part of their household and that is their way of welcoming visitors. It was an opportunity to let out some laughter. We laughed and exchanged gazes to reveal our disappointments. Banjo’s mum ordered him to give us water. He instantly fetched a cup from their dusty shelf and dipped it right into the clay pot. He brought the water out used his mouth to blow off some dirt then he presented the water to us. We collected it but none of us drank the water. I signed to my friends that it is time to go. So we all rose up. We have had enough for the day. The mother insisted that we eat but we respectfully turn it off. None of us is ready to develop cholera yet. We left the living room and advanced towards the exit. At a corner of the door were two pregnant goats tied to the door post. I concluded in my heart that the goats must have been the dangerous dogs he warned us about earlier on. Truly the goats made a sound as we approach them but it’s a sound of hunger not aggression. Immediately we left their house we all burst in an uncontrollable laughter. Banjo was really embarrassed we made jest of him so much that he was crying. He angrily left us and refuse to walk us back to our respective homes. We laughed so hard that our belly was aching. Later we parted ways and decided to meet at school the next day. Back in school the next day news have spread round the school about our adventure, everyone seems to enjoy the gist especially the girls, they were all whispering and laughing. It was a real bad day for Banjo. We decided that at the end of school that day we will visit Ade’s apartment too. Ade had also boasted about their fleet of cars. Ade couldn’t concentrate again since he realized his house is the next stop. To worsen the situation two girls from our class have agreed to follow us too. Ade didn’t really boast much so even if he lied his own won’t be as worse as Banjo’s. To cut the long story short, We got to Ade’s house. Everything was going fine although we didn’t see any fleet of cars. All we saw in their compound was his dad’s Peugeot 504 and five wheelbarrows. It was a fleet of wheelbarrows not cars. And in another corner of their fence, a mat was spread. His dad was fast asleep in the living room when he entered, Judged by the way he was snoring the day must have been hectic for him. The dad woke up shortly after we entered and we all greeted him. His mum really entertained us well. The day didn’t turn out adventurous like the previous one. Finally we rose up to go. As we were leaving Ade’s mum shouted from inside “ Before you see your friend’s off, Don’t forget to remove your mat from the fence ooo it should have dried since morning” Ghen! Ghen!! Ghen!!! Ghen!!!! The day has ended badly for Ade. Thanks to his mum, we won’t have known he is a professional bed wetter. We all laughed on our way back to our respective homes. The girl laughed harder. Then my own GHen ghen ghen ghen struck. My house is the next on the tour. They are coming to my house the next day to see all the things I have boasted about like the solar powered TV, CCTV sensor, automated voice sensor gate, the Jacuzzi with an inbuilt massager, the tiger skin sofa, queen Elizabeth’s dog that was given to my dad as a gift when he went to visit the queen of England, my specially built customized video game. Yeepa! The list is endless I am done for. I know you want to know what happened when they came to my house. It was a really serious encounter.

 Let me break your heart like Nollywood movies. Watch out for Most deceitful Part 2

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