Few months ago,I was invited to do stand up comedy in a relationship seminar. That morning as I woke up I flipped through my comedy jotter and I highlighted four jokes to deliver at the event. Just as I was doing this, it just struck me to include something related to relationship in the joke line-up. Consequently, I came up with “Letter to my future wife”. To God be the glory the audience response to the letter was really massive. Someone walked up to me after the event and begged me to post it on my blog. After careful consideration I have eventually decided to drop it for the pleasure of my blog fans. Enjoy!!!
Dear Future wife,
I know you must be somewhere now praying for the right partner. Don’t worry I am right here. Just like a laptop I have my specifications for you. Your stature should be at least 250 RAM of fats you should have a good physique I don’t need you large like Toshiba. you should have at least 5 dual core processor in your brain. In terms of temper you should have a long battery life just like hp battery because I won’t really have time to be charging you all the time. I don’t like buying alarm clock so i need you to be a good snorer. That way your snoring will be waking me up. I need you to note that your snoring needs to be violent so it can ward off evil spirits and mosquitoes.
I won’t want you to be angry if any of our kids bedwet.It shows that they are not bastards. I was nicknamed Minister of wetness back then when I was young. The rate at which I wet the bed, even Water Corporation cannot meet up with it. I won’t want you to look at my yellow teeth. I know my teeth is yellow but even if it is yellow. MTN can still consider me for an advert. Don’t look at my pimples instead consider my simple principles. I want our kids to love food so I want us to give them names related to food. Names like EBApeju, FUFUsola, GUGURUwunmi, SEMOjumoke AKARAdunni etc
I know the bible says we bear the MARK of Christ but that is not an excuse for you to have stretchmarks. The mark of Christ is the mark of salvation that gives one eternal life not stretchmarks. I need you to know that my best food is plantain. No matter what you serve me, plantain must be there be it garri or even Amala. I need you to be like Ruth so you can keep me on the right route. You are one in a million. I know I will soon meet you. God will preserve you for me. Love you muahhhhhhh
Dedicated to all the singles out there and intending couples. God will help you to choose right
(c) ASIRI
I won’t want you to be angry if any of our kids bedwet.It shows that they are not bastards. I was nicknamed Minister of wetness back then when I was young. The rate at which I wet the bed, even Water Corporation cannot meet up with it. I won’t want you to look at my yellow teeth. I know my teeth is yellow but even if it is yellow. MTN can still consider me for an advert. Don’t look at my pimples instead consider my simple principles. I want our kids to love food so I want us to give them names related to food. Names like EBApeju, FUFUsola, GUGURUwunmi, SEMOjumoke AKARAdunni etc
I know the bible says we bear the MARK of Christ but that is not an excuse for you to have stretchmarks. The mark of Christ is the mark of salvation that gives one eternal life not stretchmarks. I need you to know that my best food is plantain. No matter what you serve me, plantain must be there be it garri or even Amala. I need you to be like Ruth so you can keep me on the right route. You are one in a million. I know I will soon meet you. God will preserve you for me. Love you muahhhhhhh
Dedicated to all the singles out there and intending couples. God will help you to choose right
(c) ASIRI
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