If u have ever stayed so long at home after finishing secondary school, you will understand how frustrating, it is to seek endlessly for admission. If JAMB had truly jammed you several times you won’t fear to be jammed by a trailer because the impact is lesser than that of JAMB. I wrote JAMB so much that when JAMB did the promo of “produce three UME form receipt and get one form free”. I benefitted three times. You can do the calculations. There is a level to which you desired admission so much that you even pray for hospital or prison admission. I know some friends that used like 25 days on the mountain observing dry fasting so they can pass Jamb. It was as if Jamb knew they spent 25 days on the mount. Jamb rewarded them with a glorious score of “25” marks. I remember one of my neighbours who was invited to the Annual General Meeting of JAMB where he was given the award of the most consistent stakeholder. He had procured twenty seven JAMB forms in his lifetime.
One of the happiest moment for someone that has stayed long at home is the day he/she finally get university admission. The excitement is greater when you are admitted to a prestigious university like the Great Obafemi Awolowo University Ile-Ife. Immediately you enter the university premises you will notice that the breeze blowing is academic in nature. Everyone seems to be minding their business. Your brilliance where you are coming from is not a factor. There are so many secondary school champions that played second fiddle on entering campus. So many Head boys and head girls became head in terms of persistent failure .So many best graduating student in their various secondary schools soon discover that their days of being local champions are over.
Obafemi Awolowo University is the only institution that matriculates bats alongside other students. If u are approaching ODLT from white house you will see the bats on the tree top taking their matriculation oath If they discover you are of like minds with them, the bats will promptly celebrate you with a baptism of faeces. You won’t need a deodorant again after the encounter. If you are lucky to be baptised by this bats during harmattan, just spread the faeces evenly over your face it is the best body lotion. I can never forget the peculiar species of rats that are in OAU. They are skilled in the act of pedicure treatment. All you need to do is to sleep off they will carefully trim your nails and use the flesh around your toes as appetiser. The rats can also give you a full body massage. It is only in OAU that you will see a rat that will carry milk, carry sugar, carry milo, carry cup and carry spoon before they settle down to a good cup of tea. Who says OAU rats are not brilliant?
One thing OAU students don’t joke with is their GP (grade point). There are different categories of GP. We have the deflated G.P. Students that have deflated G.P(s) are easy to know. They pray with extra vigour in church. They are the regular callers to sports complex. Don’t be surprised OAU sport complex is extensively being used for spiritual gymnastics. People pray at a speed usain Bolt can’t match. If speaking in tongues were to be an Olympic game, OAU students will carry all the gold. I heard of a guy that went to the studio to record seven tracks of exclusive speaking in tongues. So show me a school that can speak in tongues better than we do.?
As a proof that we speak in tongues, come and check most of our statues, their mouth are always open wide. They have been initiated into the act. One of the most fascinating statue on campus is the Moremi statue in front of the prestigious Moremi hall. A statue that does make up every morning and even changes cloth. You need to see this statue clutching to an umbrella on a sunny day or the way it changes pose if you attempt to snap picture with it. I don’t think you should believe that erroneous thought of mine. But really Moremi statue is very flashy , you might be tempted to hug it as a guy because the statues is really endowed with feminine charms.
If i decide to start talking about the prestigious Awolowo hall. I won’t conclude this piece on time. Just know that If you want to have a good laugh, go to Awo hall and see different comical displays. We don’t commit suicide in OAU because the hilarious activities in Awo hall will make you forget your academic mess. You can survive in AWO hall even if your parents refuse to give you pocket money.
I learnt so many food combinations as a student. They include SPAGEWA. A concentrated mixture of spaghetti and beans. You know people that eat spagewa by the Bokoharamic nature of their mess. If they mess beside you. Your phone instantly loses service. If you are a Blackberry user, Your BIS subscription expires instantly. Another combination is YAMARICE. The name sounds like an Okada. This food is a calculated mixture of yam, rice and grounded pepper. By the time you are through eating YAMARICE you will run faster than YAMAHA bike. It is an energy giving food. When you eat it, you won’t think of food for the next three days. The only disadvantage of YAMARICE is when it is time for you to expel it in the loo. The experience is like giving birth to a baby because you will need to push and push and push until the solid content comes out. You will need the service of a plumber almost immediately because your sewage system will block instantly.
It is a great thing, to graduate from the best institution in Nigeria. Obafemi Awolowo University Ile-ife.
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