FAMZEEZ VS FAMZIAT

Famzeez – Hello  young  girl. Pls can I speak with you?

Famziat- point   of correction. I am not a young girl. I am a babe (demonstrates like an imbecile) doohooooo!

Famzeez- sorry young Babe. How are you doing?

Famziat- I am not a young babe. I am a babe,  Simple.  Are you a learner?.

Famzeez- No I am not a learner. I have a driving license. With 5 years of experience.

Famziat-Obviously you are a learner. Anyway speak up. I don’t have much time.

Famzeez- Thanks. Actually. I love your physique. And me myself i get technique. Can you allow me to take you to a  boutique.

Famziat-(laughs sarcastically) you want to take me to a boutique. As I am looking at you, the only place you are capable of taking someone is a mortuary.

Famzeez- I mean it. I want to take you to a boutique. I can’t take you to mortuary. I only do night shift in a mortuary.

Famziat-(claps)- I said it. Pls young man Don’t waste my time. Wait can you even afford to get me a BB.

Famzeez - sure. Why not?They are selling Bread and Beans down the road. I can afford that.

Famziat-(angry)- leave my sight now. You this rugged , wretched tortoise. (spots famzeez ‘sback) Wait. what is that on your back? You get hunch back.?

Famzeez- its not  hunch back o. It is an inflammation concept. It is an equivalent of having six packs on the back.

Famziat- six packs indeed. Let me advice you. I am not your type.

Famzeez - Type ke. Are you a Jamb question paper?

Famziat- No, G.C.E. (she hissed and she walked out angrily)

Famzeez- why are you trying to form? You think I didn’t know that you are one of Iya Ila’s apprentice. You think I didn’t see you washing plate yesterday

Famziat-(embarrassed) who told you I was washing plates. I was recycling it.

Famzeez-Recycling indeed. Mrs recycler.  E show for ur body well well. How far can we continue our discussion?

Famziat- where did we stop?

Famzeez- I said i want to take you to a boutique.

Famziat (eagerly) No  problem. What else?

Famzeez- you said i can’t get you a BB

Famziat- abegi na lie i dey lie o. Bread and Beans na my best food.

Famzeez -Better. You also said I am not your type.

Famziat- na lie o. I love your hunch back. I won’t need to buy pillow again. Your back is enough for me.

Famzeez(happy)- so can I buy you a drink?

Famziat- yes

Famzeez-(beckon on the kuunu seller) Aboki give us 25 naira kuunu there.

(They both sipped the kuunu as they move to eat BB. They lived happily ever after)

                                                                                                                                    (c)ASIRI

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